In our efforts to follow the hadith of Muhammad [saw], some of us have become insta-scholars, proclaiming rulings on the issue without really thinking it through (trust me, myself included). Below, Shaykh Salman gives us another balanced view of the issue with his awesome wisdom, masha Allah. Reading this fatwa puts a whole new spin on what it means to be “just kidding.”

Question: It is not allowed in Islam to lie, even when joking. But does it also count as a lie if what the person is saying is simply sarcastic, and the other person knows that it is just mean to be that way. For example, if I am writing something down and someone looks at me and asks: “Are you writing?”, and I say: “No, I am playing football.” In these cases it is just sarcasm and it is too obvious that it is not true. Please help me out with this one, as so many of us indulge into such minor sarcastic jokes everyday.

Answered by the Fatwa Department Research Committee – chaired by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî
Deliberate lies and falsehoods must not be employed as a means to make people laugh.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Woe to the person who gives a speech to people and lies to make them laugh. Woe to him, woe to him.” [Sunan Abî Dâwûd (4990), Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2315), and Sunan al-Dârimî (2702)]

What you are asking about are sarcasm and irony – rhetorical devices in the language which communicate meanings that are clearly understood from their contexts.

Sarcasm is to say something with an underlying insulting or caustic implication. Irony is a form of expression in which an understood implicit meaning is concealed or contradicted by the explicit meaning of the expression. Sarcasm is often used in conjunction with irony. Both of these modes of speech are often conveyed with a particular vocal intonation when spoken and are sometimes rendered with italics when written, like in: “Great! That’s all I need!” or “Oh, very funny”.

What matters is the honesty of the meaning that is being conveyed by the communication, not the literal implications of the words.

For instance, in the example that you give in your question, a person is writing something down. The onlooker can see this, but asks: “Are you writings something?”

The person who is writing responds to the onlooker’s question by saying: “No, I am playing football.”

What he means is: “Of course I am writing, and it is silly of you to ask.” This is the meaning that is communicated and understood.

In English, there are some phrases that are always ironic. Consider when a person says: “Big deal” or “Wise guy”.

Therefore, ironic and sarcastic statements are not lies, any more than figurative speech is a lie. “He was a lion on the football field” is a figurative statement, not a lie – though certainly the football player is not a great cat.

In the same way, irony and sarcasm are recognized modes of speech which convey an intended meaning understood by both the speaker and the listener.

Irony and sarcasm are therefore quite different than a joke that is a deliberate lie, where the teller of the joke means to communicate a falsehood. Whether or not the listener is aware that it is a lie, what matters is that the speaker fully intends to communicate by what he says a meaning that is false, with the intention of provoking laughter on account of that falsehood.

And Allah knows best.

Question: Two people fall in love after getting to know each other online. Will their marriage be a success or a failure?

Answered by Ghadah bint Ahmad Hasan
It is Allah’s blessing to us that we have these technologies today that, if we use them properly, facilitate for us many ways of lawful communication and interaction.

The Internet, with its many features like (instant) messenger and online forums, has provided young Muslims, both men and women, with an easy way to get to know one another and exchange ideas. There is nothing wrong with this, as long as everything is done with the parents’ full knowledge and oversight. As long as our conversations are in conformity with the dictates and etiquettes of Islamic Law, then they remains upon the default ruling of being lawful.

The Quran gives us the general ruling to be applied when men and women speak with each other: “Be not soft of speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease aspires (to you), but utter customary speech.” [Surah al-Ahzab: 32]

This is evidence that speaking in and of itself is lawful between men and women. The Quran does not provide us with guidelines for doing things that are unlawful!

Nevertheless, frequent conversation can lead young men and women to start liking each other. Their hearts can become attached. This is part of our human nature, which Allah has placed in us. It is in our makeup. It is naïve to think otherwise and a mistake for anyone to think that he or she is strong enough to resist it. No one is immune.

People differ only in two things: their degree of moral integrity that they exercise when faced with the situation and the decisions that they make.

This brings us to what must be done when two Muslims find themselves falling in love online. They have two choices:

1. They can decide to stop all communication with one another once they realize that an emotional attachment has begun between them, and nip it in the bud.

2. They can start taking the practical and lawful steps with their families to realize their feelings in a lawful way.

In either case, this means that it is unlawful for them, Islamically, to develop a romantic relationship online. Once they are emotionally drawn to each other, they can no longer keep up their online acquaintance. Persisting in their online relationship will only cause their desire for each other to grow stronger until it overwhelms their ability to reason and make sound decisions. They could develop serious emotional ties even though they could never fulfill them in a lawful way, or through a happy marriage, due to the disparity in their social circumstances, their looks, or the possibility of their parents’ approval.

Therefore, once a man and woman on the Internet find that they are emotionally drawn to each other, they must do what is right and proper. The young man should make overtures to the woman’s family and seek from them permission to pursue marriage according to the proper custom. In this way, the future of their relationship will be determined according to the moral dictates of Islam.

There will be either acceptance from the family, in which case we have nothing but praise for the Internet that acted as a means for the wholesome and good Islamic marriage. Or the marriage proposal, after due consideration, will be turned down, while reason still reigns supreme.

Therefore, marriage that results from an initial contact online can be successful or unsuccessful. This depends on how the two people conduct themselves from the start. How they take matters after their interest in each other is kindled makes all the difference in the long run.

And Allah knows best.

Another great answer from an amazing Islamic website, IslamToday. The website is supervised by Shaykh Salman al-Oadah, one of the premiere scholars of our time. One of his most notable students is the author of many best-selling audio lectures series’, Imam Anwar Al-Awlaki

[http://www.islamtoday.net/english/show_detail_section.cfm?q_id=1189&main_cat_id=39]