It’s July 12th.

You know what that means.

We’re half way through a summer of Desi weddings, or as it’s more famously known, “shadi season.” The planning, the relatives, the clothes, and (most importantly to some) the food. It sounds like a blast, and sometimes it is. But a lot of the times, unfortunately, many of us are faced with difficult decisions – whether we’re the groom/bride to be, or guests in attendance – of what to do about un-Islamic practices that are bound to go down.

But what do you mean by un-Islamic practices?

Simply put, what I include under the banner of un-Islamic practices are actions and ideas that are contradictory to Islamic law, or done in the name of Islam with no support from the Quran or the Sunnah. These practices can be ethnically developed, transplanted from other religions, or even get to be so minute as family specific traditions passed on from generations. I don’t consider myself extremely conservative by any means, but practices like listening to music, mixing between the genders, and dancing most definitely fall into this category.

Woah! You aren’t cool with music, gender mixing, or dancing at weddings?

Well, let’s start with music. Leaving all arguments aside of whether music is allowed or not, we can all agree that music with haram-provoking lyrics are definitely not allowed in Islam. Now, I can’t understand hindi, urdu, or bangla, but from what my wife tells me, a lot of these songs talk about a romanticized experience of love, using verbage that can lead to some pretty crazy ideas from the young men in the room, as well as the young women. Talking about being obsessed (ishq, anyone?) with someone in a way that they take up your entire life is not healthy spiritually, and is also pretty creepy psychologically.

Add on to that, the different ahadith about music, it’s consequences and negative effects, then it seems like it’d be a no-brainer to leave out the music.

Okay, maybe I can understand the no music part. But what about mixing? I mean, generally, we mix all the time! Grocery store, school, at the park, etc.

Simply put, believing men and women (that’s you and I, brothers and sisters) need to lower our gazes. We shouldn’t put ourselves in situations where we know we’re going to be tempted to look up and check someone out, straight up. The difference between mixing at a wedding and mixing at a store or at school is the T.O.P., or time of preparation. Guests attending the wedding take quite a long time getting ready and making sure that they’re going to look their best – and why shouldn’t they? It’s a happy occasion to celebrate, and getting dressed up is a huge part of the fun. But looking foiiine and walking around in front of the opposite gender can do a couple of negative things.

First, what it can do is cause temptation for you to be looked at, thus making it hard on people to lower their gaze. This situation isn’t good for the heart and for the believer’s connection to Allah, as Imam Shafi’i mentioned in his famous poem to his teacher about having a weak memory from seeing a woman at the market (on accident, of course).

Secondly, this situation can put couples in an awkward situation, especially husbands with their wives. Of course, us husbands want our wives to get all done up and have a good time – they deserve it! But the last thing any brother would want is for their wife to take an hour beautifying herself, and then be in an environment where she’s open to stare at in a mixed wedding – it’s human nature. Part of our responsibility as Muslim husbands is to ensure the safety of our wives, and part of ensuring safety is to make sure that she’s not eye-candy for another person with weak control of their gaze.

By the way, wives get upset too, brothers! After wearing the same clothes for weeks, it’s nice for them to see us in a suit once in a while, and the last thing they want is for other sisters to be checking out their man! Thus, having the gender-separated wedding makes things easier for all, spiritually by facilitating lowering of the gaze, physically by allowing the sisters to wear some nicer clothes and possibly do their hair, and emotionally by preserving the sacred protection that the spouses should have over one another.

Ah, gotcha. But dude, what’s wrong with a little dance to celebrate the marriage?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with dancing at a wedding. As long as a couple of conditions are followed. Firstly, the music that is being danced to should be considered halal, and while those criterion are left up to the scholars of Islam, the safest bet is verbal nasheed that use the duff/percussion instrument, Allahu alam.

Secondly, the genders should be separated, particularly the women if they want to break it down and dance on their side. No harm no foul, just make sure that brothers can’t see you, sisters.

And thirdly, the brothers and sisters should maintain haya while dancing, even in their own gender-specific sections. No lewd motions, no weird moves that someone imported from the club, just keep it clean and safe – and please, don’t pull your back out, uncles.

With all being said and done, I’ve attended a fair few amount of weddings these past few years that didn’t quite live up to these standards in term of Islamic compliance. Some of you may have experienced similar weddings, and may have questions on whether or not to attend. Again, coming from your brother in Islam and not a scholar of the religion, my best advice is to weigh the situation and try your best to avoid anything Allah will be displeased with. The minimum is to show up to respond to the invitation (per the sunnah of receiving wedding invites) and say salaams and congratulations to the bride and/or groom. This is probably the best compromise of a situation where there is pressure on you to attend, but you don’t feel all the comfortable being in the environment that the wedding party is going to produce.

That being said, there should be an effort to stand up for what is right, as least to mention it to the relevant parties. If your parents want you to do unlawful acts at your wedding, then mention to them the excerpts from the Quran and the Sunnah that advise against it, as well as mention opinions of top scholars that talk about the issue. If your family is invited to a wedding party, and you know that shady stuff is going to go down, then bring up your concerns to them in light of the Qur’an and the Sunnah in order to give them information from the revelation that will cause a transformation in their hearts.

If neither tactic works, and you are forced to have an un-Islamic wedding or to attend one, ask Allah for forgiveness and try your best to stay away from all things un-Islamic (for example, sit in the lobby, call some old friends you haven’t heard from, etc). Remember that you can always be diplomatic and still stick to your principles as well. There’s no point in sacrificing your beliefs for public opinion when on the Day of Judgment, it’s Allah’s opinion of you that counts, and not the public’s.

As I scrolled down on the Wikipedia article, I read about all of his accomplishments, his fortune, his fame, his prestige, the love that people all over the world had for him…but I couldn’t stop thinking that, despite all of this so-called pleasure, all of his riches and his fame, his closest family and friend said that he could never find happiness. And so, I had found my khutbah topic. Michael Jackson’s death sent shockwaves across the internet, and as Muslims, we have a couple of options: we can sit and talk about him, trying to debunk whether he really was a Muslim, talking about him being in Dubai or Bahrain or Saudi Arabia, or we can hope and pray that he was and try to derive some lessons to actually yield a fruitful conversation. Thought about logically, the second choice seems way better.

We hear it all the time, it’s almost become a cliché in masjid circles and gatherings that “this world can never give you true happiness.” But really, if we sit and reflect on the life and death of our brother Michael, we see the reality of this statement, and how it came to fruition painfully in the life of this troubled man. Money was never an issue (until his last days, when he accrued a horrendous amount of debt), he could have had anything he wanted – he even bought himself a monkey named Bubbles. Yet he would still complain about how he never felt happy, how he was always in pain. Physical pain, maybe, but it was clear that he was in a sort of spiritual pain as well. In his life and his death, there is a huge lesson for us and our focus on this earth. Allah says in Surat Adh-Dhariyaat, “And I have not created jinn or mankid except to worship Me.” We must take the example of our brother Michael as a bitter, sour reminder, and re-focus our goals in life towards pleasing Allah. Everything in this life is temporary – our houses, our cars, our jobs, even our Neverland Ranches – but Allah is Everlasting, and so is the hereafter, so it only makes sense to focus our efforts in life towards that.

What are some ways that we can remind ourselves to do this?

First and foremost is to connect with our Creator, Allah, by reading His Noble Book – The Qur’an. Reading the Qur’an, the last couple of sections especially, will serve as really strong reminders for the hereafter. And here’s a tip I’ve found helpful: don’t read it like you’d read any other book. Read it like a manual to your life. Just like how we take our automobile manual to find out what’s wrong with our ride, we should take our Soul Manual to find out what’s wrong with our hearts.

Secondly is to spend time with the family. We should encourage each other to pray together, and if we can, have a halaqa at least once a week where we sit together and read Islamically oriented material as a group, and talk about how it applies to our lives. This will most definitely increase the blessings in the house, and will encourage everyone to focus on the hereafter as a team.

And lastly, but not least important, is to do work with the needy. Volunteer to do work with different groups, Muslim or non-Muslim, to help those less fortunate. Remind yourselves, as you’re helping them, that it’s by the grace of Allah that we are in the position that we’re in, so we should thank him and remind ourselves how temporary our station of comfort could be. One great group that does great things is MSA National with their Project Downtown efforts. Check it out in a city near you.

Any goodness from this article is from Allah, and any mistakes of from myself and Shaytan.

Download audio file (reppin_Islam.mp3)

Hopefully everyone benefits, and any discussion, additions, comments, or criticism is readily accepted and appreciated, jazakum Allahu khayran.

13:24 long, given at Germantown Community Center in Germantown, Memphis, TN.

Alhamdulilah, Mehreen and I have been accepted to the IlmSummit program, run by AlMaghrib Institute, this summer. We’ll be, insha Allah, staying in a hotel for 14+ days with other students and the scholars, having daily seminars and classes on a variety of topics insha Allah.

The goal of this program is to be semi-exclusive so that the community of the accepted students will support them financially, in an effort to have them come back and spread the knowledge they’ve gained, whether it be in a youth halaqah, giving khutbah, etc.

As an online community, Mehreen and I try to write beneficial articles that support Islam here in the US, as well as anywhere in the world. We’d love for you to gain some major good deeds by supporting us financially in our venture to go and gain some knowledge, so that we may spread it through our blog, among other avenues, to people who will benefit from our studies insha Allah.

We’re having other sponsors insha Allah, so the total price for us has been drastically lowered alhamdulilah.

You’ll see, to the right of your screen, the widget for ChipIn, a secure, online donation application that is linked directly to a paypal account owned by us. We will be able to take those funds and apply them to our expenses in going to IlmSummit insha Allah.

Jazakum Allahu khayran for anything you can give, even $1 is valuable in the sight of Allah when supporting stuff like this! We really appreciate any help you can give, and especially appreciate your du’aa. Thanks, guys and gals!

In Surah Baqarah, the hypocrites are often described as liars. And in quite scary hadith, the Prophet [saw] was asked, “Can a believer be a coward?” The Prophet responded, “Yes.” He was then asked, “Can a believer be a miser?” He replied, “Yes.” Then finally, he was asked, “Can a believer be a liar?” The Prophet answered, “No.”

So, it’s clear that lying is a very serious offense in Islam. But even while we know it’s haraam, we all sometimes tend to tell a few white (and not so white) lies here and there. So what are ways we can eliminate lying from our lives completely? I would like to hear your suggestions, advice, stories, and thoughts.