Liar Liar Pants on Fire
In my Taleem Al Qur’an class with AlHuda Institute, we were discussing an interesting topic, the idea that truthfulness is the basis of eman, and lying is the basis of hypocrisy.
In Surah Baqarah, the hypocrites are often described as liars. And in quite scary hadith, the Prophet [saw] was asked, “Can a believer be a coward?” The Prophet responded, “Yes.” He was then asked, “Can a believer be a miser?” He replied, “Yes.” Then finally, he was asked, “Can a believer be a liar?” The Prophet answered, “No.”
So, it’s clear that lying is a very serious offense in Islam. But even while we know it’s haraam, we all sometimes tend to tell a few white (and not so white) lies here and there. So what are ways we can eliminate lying from our lives completely? I would like to hear your suggestions, advice, stories, and thoughts.
My suggestion – never underestimate ANY lie – we think they’re not a big deal, or we think we may be getting some benefit and we justify to ourselves the benefit, but the reality is that we’re lying to not only others, but ourselves but telling ourselves it’s not a big deal.
Siraaj
This is a very interesting topic and it’s a good thing that you shared it with everyone.
I guess the one area people may tend to lie is when it’s dealing with other people’s feeling. For example, if my sister asks if I like a certain hijab and I think it’s God awful ugly, but I know she likes it, can I say “yeah, it’s nice” so that she’ll be happy and get it. Or should I say “I think that’s the fugliest thing I’ve ever seen?”
One of the most effective things is to think of it in short term vs. long term.
Short term: Lie because you fear the person and the slight anger they’ll have in this life. But later it can fall apart on you. Lies lead to other lies, other sins to hide the lies, and you might be exposed in this life. On top of angering Allah, what if our sins are exposed on the Day of Judgment? Then you anger Allah as well as be exposed in front of that person. You lose a lot both now and later.
Long term: Tell the truth because you fear Allah and that Day when you have to pay for it. The thought of the Afterlife is key. That way even if the person gets angry at you, at least you have comfort in the fact that inshaAllah you didn’t make Allah angry. In fact, you may even please Him for struggling to not lie and eventually telling the truth. You lose a little now, but inshaAllah score big later.
May Allah forgive us for all our lies and make us amongst those who live up to what we hear every Friday.
Excellent post, Abdelrahman. I didn’t know you joined Alhuda, nevertheless great post again.
I think we should do what AbdelRahman does and preface every few statements of ours with, “I’m not gonna lie…”
For example, “I’m not gonna lie, I thought that egg casserole was amazing”.
By doing this, you will begin to gain the trust of people of people who seem to think that you are constantly lying and every time shaytaan tells you to lie, you will respond in kind and say, “I’m not gonna lie.”
Quite a clever trick I must admit.
Good suggestions, these are really helpful mashaAllah.
Besides what Alti said about lying because of not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings, I think there is also another situation where people tend to lie a lot- to get out of trouble/embarassment. For example- you don’t feel like going to work, you call in and say you’re really sick. Still lying right?
Faiez, glad you liked that egg casserole
Lying… Oh boy. Personally speaking, I come to pieces when I’m lying. I malfunction. The best way not to lie out loud is not to lie to yourself — ever. Sometimes we do something wrong and we try to justify that wrong in our heads. We invent stories and logical fallacies and we take ourselves through all these loops and corners and suddenly — we have made ourselves believe we were never wrong. Kufar means to cover up something which is what we do when we lie. Imagine the life of a Kafir who’s heart is constantly working to cover up the truth. What a waste of the heart’s energy! If we just let it freely beat it would have lead us in the right direction. I yet have to study exactly how a Munafiq works.
The best way to keep yourself truthful in the mind is to keep your head filled up with the truth — which comes from the study of the Quran on a daily basis. Of course I am reminding myself first before anybody else.
May Allah forgive us for our actions apparent and hidden and make us of the Mutakoon, Ameeeeeeeeeeeen!
–Shahin
The method I find is the following…
*a bit loud* Okay, I’m not going to lie…
*turn and walk away*
But I can’t take credit for that. Saw it on a Simpsons epsiode way back in the day…
I think people lie in two situations: 1) When they are trying to cover up a mistake, or hide a sin or 2) When they are exaggerating and trying to impress people
In the first situation, I’ve found it helps to just straight up avoid situations you think you may have to lie about later. Whether it’s who you were talking to, where you were, or what you were doing, if you avoid doing things you’d be embarrassed to share with people, then there is no need to lie about it later.
In the second situation, I figure, forget people! What’s the use in impressing them at the cost of a good afterlife? Really, impressing someone or making them laugh in an exaggerated story just doesn’t seem worth it after a while.